Trash Talking As An Art Form?

From Kristin:

Every one's heard it. Trash talking. Be it friends ribbing each other, someone screaming racial obscenities over Ventrilo/XBoxLIVE/TeamSpeak, or a colorful expression of exasperation at some one's skill, trash talking wont be going away any time soon. That being said, there are some rules that go along with trash talking. I know what you're thinking - rules? How can there be rules for trash talking? Its just a bunch of kids screaming four letter words at each other.

Not exactly.

Trash talking has evolved into something that your either adept at or not. There will always be someone who is better at it than you, just like playing a game or a sport, but to put yourself into the elite category you need to be able to do more than spout off the same 3 four-letter words in a row. It requires having a robust vocabulary (you need to know what's being said to you!) as well as imagination and a VERY quick wit. The most satisfying feeling is being able to best someone in a trash talking exchange by not resorting to cussing.

There are 3 main types of trash talkers and kinds of trash talking.

There's the omni-present simpleton trash talking. This user has exactly 3 words in his vocabulary, 4 if a girl is in the room and loves to display their middle school education. They tend to find that they're talking to themselves because everyone mutes them the first chance they get. Tends to use four letter words and whatever a lot. They'll still talk trash even if they're in last place on the leader board. They can't take a joke and will close down the server if anything negative is said at them. Usually found wandering servers solo and get banned consistently.

Then there's the I-made-it-through-school-and-know-when-to-keep-my-trap-shut (but not how to pull the mic out of my mouth so everyone has to hear my mouth breathing). These are the people you'll hear start telling everyone in the server how awesome they are and how amazing they are and OHMYGOSHDIDYOUSEETHATSHOT?! DIDYOUSEEIT?! I'M UNTOUCHABLE!

They don't care if they're in last place or first place. Every shot is "amazing". If a simpleton comes into their server there tends to be a lot of your mom jokes, whatevers, cursing, questions about genitalia size, and yelling. If jokes are made about this person, they'll laugh but secretly fume and engage in team killing to make them feel better about themselves. Tend to roam in packs with a few simpletons thrown in for good measure. Likes to be the pack leader.

Lastly we have the 1337 trash talkers. These are the people that can talk circles around a person and will use eloquence and intelligence to own someone. These are the people you'll hear in servers who can keep a person running after their own shadow and they wont realize it. They are the dangerous people to get into a verbal sparring match with. They'll rarely use curse words, will take a genitalia question and run with it (talking about how they have an INVERSE of organs), wont always mute simpletons and mouth breathers but instead chose to ignore them until they say something completely asinine and rip them apart. They know how to take a joke and will crack jokes about themselves. Most dangerous in packs, should not be crossed. Can be found either in packs or solo. They have no preference as they make friends wherever they go.

Now what the average Joe doesn't realize is there is a time and a place for trash talking. Trash talking is usually reserved for online matches. Due to the anonymity the Internet affords people, they tend to be much more critical and harsh and use language that they never would use in real life to another person. When you are at an event and seeing people face to face, you don't talk the same way you would if you were playing them online. I've already talked about the biggest burn I have ever received, I usually reserve my trash talking for online matches. At LAN's I tend to be involved in friendly banter with people back and forth, but no insults being thrown. Like everyone though, I am human and do slip up. The biggest burn I've ever thrown someones way was, sadly, to a group of kids about 14.

I was at the Penny Arcade Expo 2006 competing in the Halo2 tournament with 3 friends. We had an even split in our guy/girl ratio on our team, one of the few mixed teams there.

Seed 1 was a team we rolled with no problem.

Seed 2 was the team from Bungie studios. They put up a good fight being the spamming grenade whores they are but we prevailed. And unwittingly lost out on the pink master chief figurines (dang it!).

Seed 3 was a team of 14 year old boys in matching white t-shirts with their gamertags on the back. Now the appearance that these kids gave off is that they had never been to a LAN before, had only played online on Xbox Live, and thus acted accordingly. They were saying very inappropriate things and ended up irritating most of the people in the room through the course of the tournament.

When it came time to play against a team that had two girls on it, the bantering began and quickly escalated into full on trash talking. At one point one of the kids on the other team finally resorted to calling my girlfriend and I that-other-name-for-female-dogs when I snapped.

I stood up from my chair, turned my back on the game, and told the kids to sit down, shut up, and come back when their reproductive organs had dropped. Now I'm not proud of this, but it did put an end to the slurs they were slinging (along with our rolling of their team). Everyone has their breaking point and that was mine. Sadly we lost seed 4 and took home a fourth place finish.

The moral of this story though is - no matter where your playing be it online or in person with someone. You should always treat the person with respect. No matter who they are or what level their skill at the game is acting like I acted is never okay and shouldn't be condoned.

Kristin Reilly

And the Oscar goes to...

From Greg:

Well here it is – my first blog! I would have gotten it up a little sooner, but then GDC happened, then I had to fly to LA to help out at a big pre-Oscar party fundraiser that HP co-sponsored on behalf of the Motion Picture & Television Fund, and then I got the flu. And then pieces of my body started falling off and I turned into a giant fly.

Or was that last part something out of a movie I saw as a child? (Did I mention that I’m still feverish?)

First things first: My name is Greg Vederman and about six months ago I left PC Gamer magazine, where I’d written for nearly ten years, to come work for HP and Voodoo. The title on my new card says Business Development Manager, but like everyone else on this lean, mean innovative team, I wear many different hats. I do some core bizdev, of course, but I’m also leading the charge on community strategy, gaming league sponsorships, and other marketing initiatives. I also help vet new hardware and software technologies and co-own our events plan. There’s more – oh boy, there’s more – but I shan’t bore you with the rest today.

Instead, I shall regale you with a few details about the pre-Oscar party fundraiser I “attended” (i.e., ran a little Blackbird gaming booth at) this past Saturday, mostly because Rahul and I haven’t had a chance to talk about it yet and he made me PROMISE to fill him in on all the details upon my return. Let me just say up front that I’ve never been terribly caught up in the lives of celebrities. Really, they’re just normal people with cool jobs – you know, much like me, but with considerably more money, good looks, fame, hair, prestige, respect, community standing, yachts, chihuahuas, and divorce attorney phone numbers. Still, I must admit it was fun standing in a beautiful room filled with the likes of Cameron Diaz, Harrison Ford, Stephen Spielberg, Will Smith, and the fat kid from Super Bad.

My girlfriend is a celebrity-news addict, so I had fun texting her the names of the celebrities I saw throughout the night. She didn’t know who Casey Affleck, James Caan, or Robert Duvall were, but she wagered that of all the dozens of celebs I saw, Diddy and Tim Gunn probably smelled the best.

I never got the chance to smell Tim, but yeah, Diddy smelled predictably wonderful.

- vede

In search of immersive gaming

From Kristin:

Checking this out during this year’s GDC really made me think about how far display technology has come in delivering that truly immersive entertainment experience – where gaming is more intense than reality.

Playing the proverbial Devil’s Advocate here, will we ever truly get to the stage where our PC games feature the ultimate in immersion and interactive game control? Or will the technology always be met with the same “meh” reception that this did:

Ah, Virtual Boy. Cool, awkward and headache-inducing all at the same time. Ahead of its time or a relic of the past? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Currently, high-end, kick ass gaming rigs like Blackbird are leading the way in providing a platform for tighter game mechanics, 3-D modelling and supremely immersive environment.

But how much further away is technology that allows us to play our favourite console and PC-based games in a fully immersive, virtual reality environment?

Kristin Reilly

Valve for Windows

FYI: This article was edited on 2/24 to match the article in CPU Magazine.

I wrote this article for the latest edition of CPU Magazine. CPU has not posted it on their site yet, and there may be a few edits - however I felt I should post it before my meeting with Microsoft at GDC. I'll likely write an updated article once we get some more perspective on the latest and greatest news from the Games for Windows initiative.

I'd like to start with an interesting (and valid) quote from Anita Frazier from NPD Group.

"The PC games market is greatly impacted by digital downloads and subscriptions, so there is an undetermined amount of PC games industry revenue that isn't reflected in retail sales. As we've seen from a number of our studies, the PC continues to be a top platform in terms of total game playing time, so I don't think this slight decline in retail sales is anything more than a reflection of a shifting of distribution channels..."

A little over a year ago, Microsoft was making all sorts of noise about its renewed Games for Windows initiative, touting it as the savior of PC gaming and acting like it was the most revolutionary thing since the invention of the joystick.

The Games for Windows vision was compelling; imagine walking into a game retailer and seeing a section of games dedicated to Games for Windows, all of which would support any approved gaming controller out of the box, and some of which would support “Tray and Play.”

Many industry players were interested in the concept of making the PC gaming experience easier, but some of us were a bit skeptical due to the fact that Microsoft was driving the initiative. Trouble is, Microsoft is notorious for starting major initiatives that barely get halfway through development before the company decides either to kill them or launch them. It’s sometimes hard to tell whether there is wide internal buy-in on such initiatives.

I have to admit, I was intrigued with the potential of Games for Windows, and I got caught up in the hype—until, that is, I saw Halo 2 with the Games for Windows moniker on it. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse than an original Xbox port, I tried Shadowrun, which was equally bad. The lack of cross-platform gaming support really buried the program for me.

It was like fool’s gold, and I was one of many who were played by the biggest player in the industry. Perhaps GfW was not as compelling as we once hoped. Shortly after these fiascos, Peter Moore, corporate vice president of Microsoft's Interactive Entertainment Business division, decided to jump ship for EA. In the process, the director of Games for Windows stepped away from his role and was apparently replaced by someone else who I have yet to hear from.

So, where does that leave the initiative? Apparently it leaves a bunch of branded boxes on the shelves with an unknown future and some interesting marketing messages that have successfully generated more confusion over what “Games for Windows” actually means to the end user. On top of that, I’m starting to question whether Microsoft is capable of driving its commitment to PC gaming.

Now, before you start interpreting this as a funeral dirge for PC gaming in general, let me just say that we’ve all heard the rumors of PC gaming’s death over and over again, and like many, I’m tired of hearing them. PC gaming is not dying, so get over it. Valve is arguably the best PC game developer out there. Gabe Newell and his team make some of the best games ever, including the Half-Life series and Counter-Strike.

Over the years, Valve has done almost everything right, and while they’re quiet about it, the success of Steam is undeniable. Recently, Valve announced that Steamworks, a complete suite of publishing and development tools including such things as copy protection, social networking services, and server browsing, is now available free of charge to developers and publishers worldwide. In a nutshell, this system could significantly cut down on PC game piracy, which could in turn begin wooing developers and publishers back into the fold. And, of course, it will drive Steam into even more homes.

In implementing Steamworks, developers will gain access to real-time stat tracking, encryption and anti-piracy measures, voice chat, multiplayer matchmaking, and social networking. The buzz on the Internet seems to characterize this as “Games for Windows done right” and hails Valve as the saviors of PC gaming. If you haven’t tried Steam yet, I recommend you take a look. It’s the best game-distribution system on the planet, even remembering your purchases so that when you get a new PC, you can redownload them with no issue. In the meantime, don’t worry about PC gaming—it’s not going anywhere. It continues to grow, and there are new models of monetization coming into play, as well.

As for Games for Windows, well, if anyone at Microsoft would like to discuss this, please feel free to contact me and we’ll set up an interview for another column.

If only everyone had such problems

This letter made me laugh so hard that I had to ask for permission to post it on my blog. We have some very interesting customers - this particular gentleman called to order an Omen, and he ended up ordering two Blackbirds. The catch is he asked that we put one on his American Express Black Card and the other financed as he didn't want any heat from his wife. (For context, he also has a high end laptop from us which lost a key).

Before I post the email, I wanted to share his thinking in purchasing. Interestingly enough, Blackbird wasn't even a consideration for him because he figured it might have been too "inexpensive". Not in an arrogant way, but he really thought that if one of our competitors charges $15,000 for one PC why could he buy two Blackbirds for $15,000 complete with 30" displays and a 750 Gigabyte Media Smart server?

This really put things into perspective for me. Blackbird is the best engineered performance PC on earth. I'll say it again, incase any of our competitors disagree: Blackbird is the BEST engineered performance desktop PC on earth. The system is built like a tank, and in many ways the best way to describe Blackbird is "beautiful technology wrapped in a beautiful shell". Anytime you price out a Blackbird just keep in mind the value you're getting when you compare it with our competitors. You CAN buy a Blackbird with the best current hardware configurations and feel good about the value that you're buying. I'll talk more about "value" later.

The following is the email he sent

Rahul and Chris,

Yes the financing was approved before AB went into the hospital on 2/5. I didn’t want my wife to see a 15K charge on my AMEX. Long story short………………She hasn’t stopped harassing me about my Ferrari 599 GTB I took delivery of this year. We agreed 4 cars are enough. She’s had her Range Rover for 2 years and it has only 8000 miles on it, a pretty good argument unless you’re a dude who loves cars. Well, I went out a bought a Escalade ESV( the longer one) 2 weeks ago , I call it a vehicle of necessity. ……2 kids, 2 dogs, and now 2 black birds. I just knew she was going to shit about the computers, so I’m embezzling the money from myself actually. She rarely opens the AMEX bill, but I’ve gone paperless with my checking account. She actually spends more of our money on thousands of little things, I buy big things. Here’s an example:

We’re in this little town in France and she sees these candle sticks that look like they’re worth $20.00 CAN or US. She asked the women the price. She speaks pretty good French, but not great. She turns to me a says they are either $3300.00US or $33,000.00 followed by, I still want them.

Please someone call me about the financing, I have the stupid letter in my pocket and overnight me a keyboard for her damn computer. Are you guys just trying to get me to buy her a new laptop?

XXXXXXX

P.S. Just so you think I’m not going “green” . I’m considering geo thermal heat, like Al Gore and I’m going to buy a battery powered car like the GM Volt.

Functional Not Just Decorative

From Kristin:

I love attending LANs. I also hate attending LANs.

No matter how many girls there are are a LAN there is always someone who decides they need to be an ass and make some condescending comment regarding my sex and either gaming or my rig. I love being a girl. Really I do.

Last weekend at PDXLAN for instance I sat down with my blackbird and began installing a few updates I needed and the young man sitting next to me inquired about my computer. I was telling him about it and showing off the innards, while he's looking at my dual SLI'd 8800 Ultras he goes on to say, "Oh all this just for surfing the web and checking email?" Wow, way to completely piss me off and make sure that I begin to hunt you down in-game.

The WORST burn I've ever recieved was from a mom interestingly enough. I was attending my first LAN ever at the University of Oregon waiting for the doors to open. I was sitting on a table playing lumines, watching a couple rigs while friends went and got food, and generally just hanging out. This guy walked up with his mom (he carrying the monitor and she carrying the case), she sets the case on the floor and asks me, can I leave this right here? I told her sure, I didn't care where she left his machine. She then continues on to say, "Oh so your functional and not just decorative?" Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah....I have never been rendered *that* speechless my entire life. It was impressive. Although it makes for a great story so now several of my signatures now bear the words "functional, not just decorative" because of this encounter.

Next time you attend a LAN, if you see a girl, don't be a jerk. Really it's not that hard. Instead of going up to her and saying something completely condescending - try something nice. Especially if your sitting there having to reformat your hard drive.

Kristin's Temporary Home

Welcome to Rah's blog aka my-temporary-home-for-now! I’m sure you’re wondering who is this chick and WHERE did she come from?

Well, I’m Kristin and my official title is HP Community Lead. What does that mean for you? It means that I’m going to be bringing you new, fresh content, not only in the form of blog posts, but through other mediums designed to tickle all 5 senses! Okay fine, maybe only 2 or 3. I easily have the coolest job in the world. I get to travel around and check out the newest stuff before it launches, meet and interview interesting people…oh, and I get to play games.

I suppose this is where I should give you a little back story as to who I am and what planet I came from.

I’ve been gaming since I was little. I actually started on the Kings Quest series when I was young. My family has always used video games as family time. Ever gather 4 people around an 18 inch CRT? Yeah it’s fun. After frequent groundings because I spent too much time on the Prodigy ISP, I made the move to the NES and consoles. From there I went to GoldenEye on the 64 (still the BEST shooter on the consoles), then to Halo and beyond. I’m a gamer; just don’t call me a girl gamer.

So, why HP? When I was initially asked to look at Blackbird, it took a lot of fast talking by my friend to get me in the door. As soon as I saw the machine and its 1 million billion gawk factor, I knew this was a group I wanted to work with. They GET it. Everyone you see here loves games and the community. We want to build this into a place that people frequent for news, info, and the occasional laugh at my expense. And I really want to continue to shame Rahul at Guitar Hero.

Kristin Reilly

Say Hello to the Voodoo Business Unit

welcome pro gamer Kristin Reilly aka "Batgirl" (and Greg Vederman aka "the Vede") to the blog...!

Ever since the launch of HP Blackbird 002 with Voodoo DNA we have been fielding many questions and requests from various sources. People are asking us when our next product offering is coming, when we are going into retail, when we are going to refresh the Voodoo line, and multiple other business related questions.

First thing is first, we wanted to wait for the dust to clear before we made any further announcements and before we launched any new products. In the meantime we just finished scaling our Calgary facility to accommodate a much larger professional downdraft paint booth. The paint facility now includes three booths, one of which is dedicated to mixing custom colours. It features a clean room which eliminates all dust, and ensures that any personalization you order from us will remain absolutely flawless.

We also ordered some really cool equipment which I’m not going to announce just yet – but let’s say that that the investment is going to put us further ahead of the competition in the boutique and performance PC space. HP is clearly committed to this space and based on our expansion on the customer care, sales, engineering, manufacturing, marketing, and business side we’re not stopping.

Many loyal Voodoo customers and fans expressed their excitement when they saw that Blackbird is miles ahead of any other desktop performance PC on the market – and understandably they became concerned when we never announced any new Voodoo products (yet).

Well, the fact is we have been investing in our portfolio behind the scenes, much of which has been preparing our infrastructure to be able to handle the business that we anticipate we will generate.

Our management team has decided we will no longer be called “The Global Gaming Unit of Hewlett Packard”; rather we are now officially “The Voodoo Business Unit of Hewlett Packard”. This quiet announcement, while seemingly small, has profound implications on our charter. Not only will you see products with VoodooDNA which feature our core heritage of performance gaming and second-to-none build quality and engineering from HP, but you’ll also see Voodoo dedicated products which will continue to tap the luxury highly personalized market – while still taking full advantage of the engineering and quality strengths that HP has brought to the table.

The merger of HP and Voodoo is very similar to Lamborghini when they were acquired by Audi. People didn’t know what to make of it – until cars like the new Audi R8 was released and has received accolades all over the industry. One could easily draw a parallel from the Audi R8 to HP’s Blackbird 002. Of course now that our expansion is virtually complete, we need to launch a new “Gallardo” (drawing a parallel to Lamborghini) while expanding our portfolio in multiple directions.

Again, not getting into any details – but if you thought Blackbird was a killer launch, wait until you see what’s coming out later this year. We have some huge aspirations and the excitement in our business is palpable.

I feel like someone needs to pinch me… I mean how awesome is it, that the company I know and love is now an official name of an HP business unit?!

We have also been working feverously on the creation of a new unified community at HP which will include a place for customers and potential customers of both the HP with Voodoo DNA portfolio and the Voodoo exclusive portfolio.

As we continue to work on the new community site I have invited our very own Greg Vederman and Kristin Reilly to blog on my blog (for now). I will continue to write non specific industry related articles on the blog as well, and eventually you’ll see both Greg and Kristin move over to the community blog while my blog will be rss’d over there.

Until the new community launches we’re also officially opening a forum on the Voodoo MUTTHABoards dedicated to Blackbird customers and potential customers.

So while 2007 was a crazy year for HP’s Voodoo Business Unit (aka Global Gaming) with the expansion of Voodoo, and especially the launch of Blackbird 002 -- we’re screaming along and ready to unleash some really cool products -- stay tuned and please welcome Greg and Kristin to the blog!

Nvidia's Next Chapter

I wrote this article for the latest issue of Custom PC Magazine in the U.K. Here is an extended version of it - it's about Nvidia and their next chapter.

About a year ago Nvidia pulled the unthinkable when they broke the news that they would not be supporting Hybrid Graphics with any non-Nvidia branded chipset. What seemed like a direct hit against Intel Centrino didn’t stop there. Nvidia also gave Intel the finger when they said that SLI would only be supported on Nvidia based chipsets. Clearly Nvidia drew a line in the sand suggesting that they too would get into the platform business. Nvidia wants more, and they have Intel dead in their sites.

I concluded awhile ago that Nvidia likely pissed Intel off and no matter what anyone tells you the writing is on the wall – Intel will push back hard, and I am certain that they will do whatever they can to position their next generation graphics as leading edge.

More proof of their somewhat dysfunctional relationship was evident during the launch of the Intel 45nm parts. The bottom line is Nvidia was nowhere to be seen because you could not stably operate an Intel 45nm processor on an nForce motherboard. Some suspected that Intel didn’t communicate things to Nvidia until the last minute, while others think there is more to the story than meets the eye.

Let’s face it, it’s not like Nvidia to screw up – they rarely do. It seems to me like they have written their future based on the strategic choices that they made. Even more weird is to see ATI and Intel work together on certain configurations. I call them ATI in the article because Intel refuses to refer to ATI graphics as AMD graphics.

The landscape continues to get interesting as Intel acquired Havok Physics who both AMD (ATI) and Nvidia have been pushing as the greatest physics API ever. They both have suggested that Ageia sucks. What a wallop (and a laugh) when Intel purchased Havok from under them.

So what does Nvidia do? They buy the one company that they have been bashing ever since it started – Ageia. Hey, I think it’s a great move for Nvidia, and who cares if they bashed them as competitors. It’s stayed the course even in the most desperate of times - they deserve to be in the seat they’re in now.

It’s almost clear to me what the next logical move for Nvidia will be. Think about it. They need to expand their ecosystem. They have now have control over one of the best chipsets, arguably some of the best graphics, some of the best software, a new ESA standard, and now physics. All they need now is solid state storage, wireless, and a CPU. Take your pick.